Free speech is expensive. In honor of those whose will, sacrifice, and capital made and make free speech possible, I propose the following:

Anyone and everyone is encouraged to participate, even MS Quixote and Shemaromans.

Those who ruin it for everyone else will be restricted. Outside of spammers and their ilk, I can’t imagine this happening, but the rule is here in the event it’s necessary. Right. You’re not free to use profanity, either. Those who use profanity will be edited, or forced to wear a Member’s Only jacket. This includes those silly @ and $$ tricks. All decisions in this regard are the unilateral right of the blog owner. Anyone who thinks the Bay City Rollers are the world’s greatest rock band may be subjected to global warming, then forced to wear a Member’s Only jacket, then have their rights to free speech on this blog revoked (having your free speech revoked may mean that I scribble notes down on a napkin for you to use for your comment. In this manner, your speech may not be free, but at least you will have a better comment to post, since free things, generally speaking freely, aren’t worth very much-but you’re free to disagree if you like). Second greatest perhaps; first, immediate dismissal. Anyone who claims the Bayfront Prowlers, however, are the world’s third greatest rock band may be enshrined in the The Areopagus hall of fame. That about sums up the free speech rules (I’m Free-da da, da da, da da da, da da, da da, da da da-I’m Free) except for those who are Aggies, although The Areopagus management is not convinced by evident reason or empirical evidence that Aggies have mastered speech, so perhaps we should let them have a go at it. Aggie speech will be monitored continuously, but anyone who asserts the positive claim that Michigan, Penn State, Ohio State, or any other Big Ten Conference University possesses what qualifies for a Bowl Subdivision football program will not have their free speech rights questioned because they will be performing a systematic demonstration of the via negativa. Any comments that pop in and out of existence uncaused onto this blog will be deleted once quantum mechanic science develops to the degree that we can predict where and when the comment will appear. We’re close, so watch it. We’re also nearing completion of the unified theory here at the Areopagus, so soon there will be nothing left to say. Worthwhile additions to this comment policy will be incorporated posthaste, therefore, so suggest away, but be mindful of the comment policy when doing so. In other words, this should be a living document, so my more enlightened friends will feel comfortable commenting.

Addendum: Anyone deemed not sufficiently serious about free speech will be subjected to global warming, forced to wear a Member’s Only jacket, have their free speech rights revoked, then slungshot around the sun resulting in a time warp back to the seventies where they will be subjected to global cooling, and forced to forfeit their Member’s Only jacket. If, perchance, this happens to you, will you PLEASE stand on the streetcorner with a sign warning everyone about the future state of popular music in the 2000’s.